11 Nov 5 Simple Steps Families Can Take After a Cancer Diagnosis

November 11, 2025 ~ Triage Cancer is proud to collaborate with individuals and organizations serving individuals diagnosed with cancer and caregivers. This blog post is written by Erin Galyean, Founder of The Empowered Advocate Community:

When someone we care about is told, “You have cancer,” their world immediately changes. But a cancer diagnosis doesn’t just impact the patient; it affects the entire family.

As loved ones, we may experience a rollercoaster of emotions from denial to fear to anger to sadness. There’s also a deep sense of overwhelm and loss of control. The world you once knew is gone, and the new one feels uncertain and unfamiliar.

Understandably, it’s an overwhelming time.

Truth be told, we can’t change the cancer diagnosis. We can’t ‘will’ it away. But what we can do is take small, purposeful steps to regain a sense of control.

Below are five simple tactics you can take after a cancer diagnosis. These steps will help you stay organized and empower you to help your loved one receive the care they deserve.

Step 1: Commit to Your Role

Before you start assigning roles, take a few deep breaths together. Give everyone space to process what they’re feeling and talk about it honestly. This open discussion helps you begin the journey from a place of calm and connection.

When you’re ready, begin talking about what roles each person will take on in supporting your loved one. No one who has received a cancer diagnosis should go through this journey alone. Even when the prognosis is a positive one, they’ll still need emotional support. For example, they may need someone to…

• Speak up when they’re too tired.
• Sit with them during treatment.
• Make requests, set boundaries, or rally support on their behalf.

As my mom used to say to my sister when she had cancer, “Your job is to focus on your health. My job is to support you.”

When you are ready, below are questions to consider and discuss. You may want to think through them on your own first, and then talk them over with your loved one:

• How will I support my person? What does that look like?
• What actions am I prepared or willing to take?
• How do I want to show up? When this journey is over, who would I be proud to say I was?
• When I'm not available to support them, who will step in?

Step 2: Get Organized

One of the easiest ways to regain a sense of control is to get organized. As David Kekich said, “Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation, and action.”

This is especially true when it comes to managing someone’s health. The more organized and prepared we are for conversations with healthcare providers, the better answers we’ll receive, and the more confident we’ll feel when making decisions.

Here are a few simple yet actionable steps you can take to stay on top of things:

• Buy a dedicated notebook and folder. Keep all medical notes, reports, and forms together in one place.
• In the notebook, write down details from each doctor’s visit. If any appointments are in the past, do your best to recall what was said, who said it, and what the next steps were. Make this a regular practice moving forward.
• Request copies of all reports, including labs, imaging, and pathology. Having them handy helps you stay informed and ready for any discussion.
• Keep a copy of the patient’s health insurance card (both sides) and a list of all medications, including over-the-counter supplements and vitamins.
• Use your notebook (or the Notes app on your phone) to jot down questions as they come up so you don’t forget them before the next appointment.

This level of organization not only helps you see the full picture of your loved one’s care but also empowers you to feel calm and confident before every appointment or hospital stay.

Step 3: Gain Clarity

Asking purposeful questions is one of the most important skills an advocate can develop. Always ensure the patient is comfortable with you stepping in or working alongside them before assuming it is okay. This is their health journey, their body, not yours.

If they’re on board, take time to prepare before every appointment. Good questions lead to clear answers, and clear answers guide better decisions.

Here are some solid questions to start with:

• What is the exact type of cancer? What is the subtype?
• What stage is it, and what does that mean?
• How urgent is treatment? How long will it last, and what is the schedule like?
• What should we expect physically and emotionally between treatments?
• What is the prognosis?

Understanding the type and subtype of cancer is critical. The type identifies where the cancer began (for example: breast, lung, or colon), while the subtype (such as hormone receptor-positive, adenocarcinoma, or B-cell lymphoma) shows how it behaves. The subtype often determines which treatments or drugs will work best.

Step 4: Build Your Support Team

I mentioned earlier that every cancer patient should have an advocate. But ideally, they should have several. Why? Because if only one person takes on the role of advocate, burnout is almost guaranteed. Life doesn’t stop when someone is diagnosed with cancer, and no single person can do it all.

When you rally a small group of people around the patient, the level of care and emotional support multiplies. So how do you build that kind of team?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Talk with the patient first. Ask who they’d like to include in their support circle and how they’d like each person to help. Keep in mind, these individuals may see the patient in vulnerable moments. Who would your loved one feel comfortable having around in that state?
• Match strengths to needs. Think about what each person does best and how much time or energy they can realistically give. Having them write down a list of actions they are willing and able to take may be a good place to start.
• Tap into your community. If family isn’t nearby, look for help from friends, neighbors, faith-based groups, or local organizations. Even small tasks like dropping off meals or running errands can lighten the load. Lightening the load equates to less stress, which is more impactful than you may realize.
• Keep everyone informed. Communicate regularly so your team knows what’s happening, how they can step in, and when help is needed most. Make sure to plan ahead when possible but expect a few last-minute moments too.

Step 5: Research Your Medical Team

When your person is first diagnosed, one of the most important steps you can take is making sure the right care team is in place. But how do you do that? Here are a few simple ways to ensure you both feel confident about who’s leading their care:

• Start by checking the oncologist’s credentials and specialties. It’s surprising how rarely we stop to ask if our doctors are the right fit for us. Every patient’s needs and goals are different. Sit down with your loved one and talk through what they want from treatment and what steps they’re willing (or not willing) to take. Then, do your homework together and find an oncologist who respects those preferences. Also, pay attention to communication styles. Does your person feel comfortable with this doctor? Do they trust them?
• Research cancer centers that specialize in your person’s specific type of cancer. Not all cancers are treated the same way. Some centers have deeper expertise or access to clinical trials that may be a better fit for their diagnosis.
• Always, always, always get a second opinion. I don’t care how many plaques or awards a doctor has on their wall; get one anyway. Physicians differ in their experience, treatment philosophies, and openness to new approaches. A second opinion can confirm you’re on the right track or open new options. Think about it: most of us request multiple recommendations when doing a big home project. Why wouldn’t we take the same care with our health?
• Verify insurance coverage early. Don’t wait until bills arrive to find out something wasn’t covered. I’ve made this mistake before. It was costly and frustrating, and that wasn’t even cancer treatment. Never assume a provider accepts your insurance. Double-check first to avoid unnecessary stress later.

Final Thoughts

Each of these five steps is simple yet powerful. They help bring structure to chaos and restore a sense of agency when everything feels uncertain.

Most importantly, remember there’s a person behind that diagnosis. A scared, hopeful, vulnerable human. Check in often. Sit beside them. Listen. Your steady presence is what makes you a true Badass Advocate.

Take the Next Step

If you’d like to learn more about Erin or sign up for her free webinars, visit her website.